Sasuke Bridezilla
by Yuori
Summary: The sequel to Just sitting on a Bench is here! Smut and same pairings...I guess
1. Chapter 1

_"Kaaaahh ohh" _

I was so damn incoherent. No matter how many times we had sex, he still blew me away. My face was buried in the hotel pillow. Tear of pure pleasure were being soaked into the pillow. Kakashi thrusted hard into my ass. I wanted to come and come hard.

Too bad Kakashi was a fucking sadist.

My hands were tied over my head, he had that _damned _**cock ring **on me and my very red ass in the air. And worse of all was that I was loving it. I loved when Kakashi became so dominant. He immented this intoxicating air of dominiance. It made me submissive and say things I wouldn't normally say or do. Like when he demanded I where the french maid's outfit before all of this started. The tone he used made me shudder.

Now I glanced at the remaining shreds of the outfit. I was left in hat, stockings, and a choker. My eyes clenched closed again as another release was denied me.

_"Kaaasshiiii p-p-pleahh...pleaaasee" _I begged. Kakashi it me straight on and I saw stars. I nearly missed what he said.

_"Please what_" The shivers racked my body like crazy. That husky mocking voice! It was just sinful to speak like that!

_"C-c-cum..pleaaah I neeeed tahh c-c-um_" I screamed. I was for once glad Kakashi wasted his money on getting the penthouse suite. It meant no neighbor or complaints.

_"But aren't you enjoying this my sweet whore! Don't you want me to please you_" His voice was dripping in sex and again I saw stars as I was denied yet another release while he struck me flawlessly.

I was a mess of moans and screams. I knew what he wanted me to say. It was the one thing I promised I wouldn't say, but it's been over an hour and **_I __still _**haven't cum. You would have caved too!

"_Ahhh Mahhh ohh Ma-a-astttter **Master! Pleaaassse!"**_ I bellowed. I could have sworn my voice bounced off the walls, be I didn't care because I felt Kakashi hand slid to my cock and release it from it confines.

The next thrust had be screaming.

**_"Kaaaahhh ohh Maahhsster!"_**

Rope after rope after rope of cum came out of me. It took 10 seconds to stop and a full minute for my arching body to relax and sink into the pillows. Between that stretch of time I felt Kakashi cum and collapse beside me sure to not crush me. I was praised with kisses for my willingness to give in. Kakashi undid the ties from my hand and snuggled into me.

I never said it outloud, but cuddling was a must after sex especially kinky rough sex.

"You Bastard! No more cock rings" all whispered harashly. My voice was spent. I was going to need something to soothe it.

Kakashi chuckled pressing his lips to mine "You loved it"

"I don't love being denied release for over an hour Bakakashi and how dare you demand I wear a dress just so you could tear it to shreds" I continues to ranted in whispers.

Kakashi kissed my forehead "I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. Your such a fucking turn on"

At this my cheeks burned bright red and decided to let it go. "I never even got see Spain"

Kakashi just grinned at me.

God, I love this man!


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke sighed blissfully into the plush deep blue sheets. It was like laying on a soft cloud. Sasuke sank lower into the covers. Absentmindly, he picked up the sounds of soft scratching. He could only assume it was Kakashi sketching once again.

And indeed he was.

Kakashi's experts eyes trained on Sasuke's nude body; his hand moving like a pro. He took in soft curves and angular shapes of Sasuke body.

The messy yet steragic placement of his inky hair.

Soft pink lips parted breathing in and out.

The adorable neko ears and curled tail.

The choker that made his slender neck look even more enticing

Ahh and look at the those thigh high black stockings that stopped just at the curve of his ass. They contast beautifully with his pale skin.

It was so overwhelming for the silver-haired artist. It was a great strain just to sit their and draw. It was an even bigger strain not to just fu-

Oh no!

He was not going to let his head fall into the gutter that easily. Sasuke rarely gave Kakashi the chance to draw him. This opportunity was just too perfect. He could not mess this up. And with that mindset Kakashi continued to draw. He didn't know how long this chance would last. Twenty minutes later, Sasuke stirred. Slowly, he began to sit himself up not even realizing he was giving Kakashi a new pose. His arms supported his upper body and his hair covered much of his face. Kakashi flipped the page of his sketch book and moved fast to at least sketch an outline of the new pose. But before much could be done Sasuke's weight caved and he fell back into the bed.

"Kaaashi~ Hungry" moaned the bedridden neko. He still felt aches in his lower body from earlier this morning. Damn! Didn't Kakashi know when to quit? From the kisses being trailed down his neck Sasuke could safely assume no. Weakly, Sasuke grabbed one of the pillows and threw it at Kakashi.

"No more sex" groaned Sasuke "I'm hungry. Feed me." Kakashi grinned and let go. He wasn't going to try and do Sasuke again; he just wanted a reaction out of him. Satisfied, Kakashi looked at the menu for lunch and headed to the phone.

As Kakashi ordered food, Sasuke unconciously moved his hand to his stomach. Softly, he trailed his hand up and down. His eyes became heavy and glistened.

He was _not_ pregnant.

Sai and Kyuubi were.

Shouldn't he be happy though. That meant no morning sickness. No cramps. Swollen feet. Mood Swings. Food Cravings.

And yet, he felt his stomach drop everytime he thought about it.

I am _not _pregnant.

I am _not _pregnant.

I am _not _pregnant.

"Sasuke," Kakashi's soothing voice questioned "what's wrong?"

_What's wrong?_

I am _not _pregnant.

I am _not _pregnant.

I am _not _pregnant.

"I am not pregnant" Sasuke noted his voice was low and hoarse. He wondered why? "And...I want to be" Yes! That was it. He wanted to be pregnant. He wanted to have Kakashi's child...no children! He wanted to be Kakashi's family! He wanted to have something that showed proof of what they had.

Sai did.

Suigetsu did.

Kyuubi did.

Why couldn't he?

Kakashi kissed Sasuke's messy locks. He did not look at the eyes overflowing with tears. Kakashi in some sense felt a slight disappointment in Sasuke not being pregnant. He didn't blame Sasuke, but he did feel foolish now for getting his hopes up and actually buying a stuffed fish. He should have known better by now. But Sasuke always made him hope.

He heard Sasuke sniffle.

Kakashi got off the bed to rummage in their suitcase bag. When he found what he was looking for, he kneeled in front of Sasuke and stuffed the thing in front of Sasuke. Sasuke who had been silently crying looked confused. He moved the blue fish so he could give Kakashi a questioning look.

"While me and the guys were buying our outfits to crash your party in, I walked pass this babystore and saw all these cute toys. I hadn't plan to buy anything, but at the end of an asile I saw this stuffed fish. For some reason, I thought the baby would love that. So, impusively I bought it. I felt stupid afterward because I didn't even _know _you were pregnant. I just thought if you were, the baby would...like this." Kakashi's voice cracked at the end. His eyes slightly watery. He swallowed and pushed the toy toward Sasuke hoping he would take it.

Sasuke listened absolutely astonished. Kakashi went through the trouble of buying a toy for their child even though he didn't know if they were pregnant. He mentally scowled at himself for not being pregnant. When he saw Kakashi eyes water and push the toy toward him. Sasuke accepted the toy; hugging it close. Then he moved forward and kissed Kakashi's grey eye. Kakashi had to be the sweetest lover to ever live thought Sasuke.

"Thank you...I-I'm real-ly s-s-s...sorry for spoiling..o-our time" Sasuke choked out.

Kakashi smiled. "You're not. Us time means we can talk...about anything. Not just have sex..."Sasuke smiled genuinely"Although I wouldn't mind that either." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Bakakashi" Sasuke scowled affectionately.

"love you too" he replied with a goofy smile.

Sasuke sighed "I'm taking a bath"

"Me too~" _Smack!_

"No! You're getting my food." Sasuke said armed with a pillow.

"Maa~ Sasuke so mean! All I wanted to do was clean you" Kakashi whined.

"Hn you mean make me dirtier" Sasuke replied ignoring the wolf hybrid following him like a lost pup.

"No~...Well yes. But then I would make you squeaky clean~" Kakashi's only response was a door slam to the face.

Oh well, I guess their loving (6) week vacation was over. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Even though they hardly saw anything. Hey, it wasn't his fault everytime they went out they ended up having sex. Like when they went to see a show, or see a muesem, or take a hike. They even went on a train to Rome(the city they were currently in)...and ended up having sex on the train, in train station bathroom, in an alley, almost on the elevator, the hotel floor, wall, bed, desk, nightstand, shower, sink, toliet, etc.

It was fun! The only regret Kakashi had was not using the diamond studded XXXL didlo on Sasuke.

Kakashi sighed. 'Oh well, I bet that Antonio will give him plenty reason'

The doorbell rang and Kakashi answered it. Upon recieving the food, Sasuke came out wearing one of Kakashi's large green shirts.

"Hey, food is here"

"Hn" Sasuke grabbed his pasta and ate happily. Kakashi would never understand the obsession with tomatoes. He neither hated them nor loved them.

He just liked them.

"December 14" Sasuke said.

"Hm?"

"I want the wedding on December 14th."

Kakashi raised a brow at this "Why not just have it on Christmas Day?"

"It gives me a reason to miss the Uchiha Christmas Family get together"

"Worst than the wedding"

"Tch, it'll be a wedding _and _family get together" Sasuke grimaced.

"What's so bad about it?" Wasn't family get togethers suppose to be fun and wholesome. It had to be better than being lonely. Like he once was.

"Because the week before we have to play stupid games. Talk about our crappy feelings. Give others freaking gifts..." Kakashi listened to Sasuke's list of _horrors._ They didn't sound so bad to him. He would like to take part in family oriented fun. He never got to do so himself.

"...dress up for some dumbass the-"

"Sasuke?" Kakashi cut off Sasuke's rant.

"Yes?"

"Can we have our wedding on Christmas day?" questioned Kakashi.

"What the hell! Weren't you listening to me?"

"Yes. I heard every word. I want to be part of the Uchiha Christmas Family get together" Sasuke's eyes soften at Kakashi's declaration. He could hear the underline 'I want to be part of the family'

"Are...A-Are you _sure?"_ questioned Sasuke.

"Mm hmm! I know your family is a little...off. But I like them. So can we?" Kakashi gave Sasuke his best puppy dog face.

Sasuke sighed. "Alright! Just stop giving me that face! You know I don't like it."

"Yay! I love you Sasuke~" Kakashi glomped Sasuke.

"Ouf! Okay! I love you too! Now let go!" Kakashi didn't let go. He simply nuzzled Sasuke while giving Sasuke his dopey-iest smile.

**Ahhhhh! There you go my second chapter! Review please!**

**Thanks for the review yoai lover14706**


	3. Chapter 3

**For yaoilover14706 sanity I have updated.**

**Thanks reaperninhiro and no name!**

Mikoto could with stand many things in life. She could with stand losing weight after having Sasuke and Itachi. She could with stand Fugaku's fiery temper. She could with stand her father displeasure at marrying Fugaku. She could even with stand Voldomort.

...No wait...that's Harry Potter!

But whatever! The point was she could with stand many things. But unfortunately her youngest kitten always found a way to test her will. After running away to some foreign land, her young neko, Sasuke return home killing her once again with the news of him getting married to that..that...Ugh!

Yes! That Ugh!

And worse of all it would be during the Uchiha Family Christmas fun Fest. The week she planned every year now disturbed by this horrid news. Now since she had to plan around Sasuke's wedding (because their was no way she was missing her baby's wedding) she of course called him to check on his plans. It was currently July and Sasuke and Kakashi were enjoying Sasuke's birthday in the states.

"Sasuke where are you having your wedding?"

"I don't know"

Then August, Sasuke and Kakashi were in Australia phootshooting for Kakashi

"Sasuke what time are you having your wedding?

"I don't know"

Then September, Sasuke and Kakashi were celebrating Kakashi's wedding in Morroco

"Sasuke what are you wearing for your wedding?"

"I don't know"

And then October Sasuke and Kakashi were just out shopping for Kakashi's newly rebuilt apartment

"Sasuke what are going to eat at your wedding?"

"I don't know"

It is now the middle of Novemeber and Mikoto was ready to blow a fuse. Who better to rant to then your husband...no one!

"...He doesn't know when it is, what he's wearing, how's getting there, what's he going to eat..**NOTHING!"** ranted Mikoto "How am I to plan our annual Christmas Family get together when my own baby boy won't **help me" **she screeched at the end. Mikoto couldn't help but feel she was up against...herself. A slightly smarter much more diabotical form of herself.

_It made absolutely no since!_

"I don't know honey" said a half listening Fugaku. Mikoto's eye twiched.

"**_YOU DON'T KNOW!"_** Fugaku jumped at the angier in her voice "_**WELL YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW! I KNOW I'M GOING TO SASUKE THIS INSTANT AND HE IS GOING TO HAVE THAT GODDAMN WEDDING" **_

With that Mikoto drove like a crazied maniac (which she at the moment is) to Kakashi's apartment and banged on the door.

**_"SASUKE OPEN THE DOOR NOW!" _**After fifteen minutes of waiting with no answer Mikoto kicked the door in.

Coincidently, A half naked yawning Kakashi was coming down the stairs. He scratched his head lazily, blinked at the broken door, and then headed off to get some coffee.

"Mmm you want some coffee..._Mom" _Kakashi hid his smirk from view as he poured water into the pot.

"Don't call me Mom I am not your mother" screeched Mokoto

"Mom...in-law" Mikoto twitched.

"Where is Sasuke, you **jackass**?"

"Mother!" Mikoto turned to her messy haired sn who was pouting and glaring with his arms crossed. She would have thought he was cute if Sasuke wasn't in just a long sleeve green shirt that she was sure wasn't his.

"Sweetheart it's 3 in the afternoon. Why are you just getting up?" she questioned through gritted teeth.

"I had a busy night" he replied smoothly. Sasuke made his way to the kitchen.

"You mean heving sex!"

Sasuke rose a brow while pouring some orange juice "No I mean working. Suigetsu is 8 months pregnant and on maternal leave so I'm taking over part of his shift. Neji is taking over the other." Sasuke explained. Mikoto's features soften to an "oh" expression.

"Awww~ You know Sasuke I never really like Suigetsu, but I'm a sucker for babies oh when is he due" cooed Mikoto.

Sasuke silently wondering if his mother was undiaginosed for schiphozina answered her"In about 2 weeks"

"Aww~ Any names?"

"Suigetsu hasn't decided yet." Sasuke said after sipping his juice "They think he might be having twins." At this Mikoto squealed.

"How Kawaiii~ and on top of that Kyuubi's and Sai six months pregnant"

"I know" Sasuke said bitterly. Mikoto missed it, but Kakasi noticed it.

"And Naruto already had his wedding. Shame it was so small. I've imagined him having a big bash of a wedding"

"Un huh" Sasuke said half listening while try to make a sandwich " I was there."

"Mmm and now you" Mikot frowned remembering why she was here _"you _are getting married and haven't planned **_anything"_**

**_"_**I've planned stuff" Sasuke said defensively.

"Really all I got was Mom my wedding is on Christmas" mocked Mikoto "and that was the end of that"

"..." Sasuke said nothing. He couldn't say anything since it was true. He hadn't really planned anything.

"Don't worry darling. Mother is here to help" Sasuke felt slightly quizzy from that one statement "O.k first we need a location Sasuke. Location is incrediably important. Then a dress and then-"

"Wait! Who say's I'm wearing a dress" asked an embarassed Sasuke.

"You're wearing a dress" Mikoto and Kakashi said in unison. Sasuke silently fumed.

**I know it's short but bear with me please! Thanks for alll the support.**

**Don't forget to read Sasuke I'm Siiick~!**

**Ciao**


	4. Location Location Location

** yaoilover14706 (Did I update fast enough?)**

**Thanks reaperninhiro(YES! PLEASE SUGGEST PLACES AND DRESSES! You are sooo awesome for it! Unfortunately I have no clue what a morgue is aside dead body kind of thing so tell me what it is and it can still be considered) **

**scenebabe(nice name)!**

**READ A/N AT BOTTOM!**

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><p>Location Location Location<p>

It is the most important thing of a wedding. It determines what you'll wear, eat, and how many people you will invite. Sasuke knew this and knew it well. After the countless street parties he planned and went to, Sasuke knew one important thing:

_Location was **everything.**_

That was why Sasuke was at his 4th hotel of the day. He had been scouring the country and _still _couldn't find the **_perfect _**place.

"Sasuke you know I'm fine with any place. So all you really have to do is choose." Kakashi soothed. He could see Sasuke getting annoyed.

"I don't want any place Kakashi. I want the _perfect _place" argued Sasuke. He and Kakashi were headed to Taki International Hotel. He hoped that this one would be **the **one.

"You know if you're weren't so picky this would go a whole lot smoother" commented Kakashi. Kakashi himself had no problem helping with finding a hotel room to have the wedding in, but really after fifteen hotels in four days Kakashi needed a break.

Sasuke sighed. He knew all Kakashi wanted was a time and date and he'd be there. While he took care of the rest, but Sasuke wanted Kakashi to like the room as well. It was important for their wedding to be memorable for the both of them. Besides marriage was about compromise. If Sasuke had to do all the planning, Kakashi had to sit there through it. I mean what else was the man going to do anyway.

"Hi, my name is Sasuke. I made an appointment to see your rooms" Sasuke said politely.

"Ah, yes Sasuke. I'm Yumi. I'll be your guide." the brunette replied. "Now we have 3 main rooms for weddings. The first is the Mizu room, the second is the Sato room, and finally the Umi room. Now how large a room do you think you'll need" Sasuke and Kakashi both glanced at each other.

"The largest one you have" they said in unison. Yumi blinked then giggled.

"I guess you have a large family"

"You don't know the half of it" grumbled Kakashi. Sasuke elbowed him.

Yumi smiled "I would suggest the Umi room. It is our largest room. I believe you'll love it." Yumi took them to the elevator and headed to their highest floor. Once their they saw a grand blue door. Gently, she opened it. Sasuke gasped lightly.

"This is the Umi room. This massive room although our most expensive is also our most elegant. It has a cyrstal clear marble floor. Below it as you can see is filled with water giving off a calm atmosphere. A window ceiling gives you a clear veiw of the night sky, and the chandleir reflect the gorgeous colors of the evening. We have a fish tanks along the wall and if I'm correct your theme for the wedding is winter so this would be excellent with the mystreious, cool, and eternal beauty that winter expresses" explained Yumi.

Sasuke stared in wonder.

This place was **_it. _**

**_This _**was what he was looking for.

He could just see it all happening before his very eyes. All his friends and family there smiling and chattering. Kakashi standing right in front of him looking absolutely gorgeous with his dashing smile. Sasuke could feel tingles exploding through his fingertips.

"I want this room" Sasuke said breathlessly. Yumi smiled along with Kakashi. Kakashi then turned to her.

"We'll take it."

After literally dragging Sasuke from the room, Kakashi and Yumi went over to the desk to reserve the room.

"Which day would that be?"

"The 25th please."

"Do you mean of this week?"

"Hm. No next month"

"Alright." She quickly typed it in. "Oh no"

"What?" asked Kakashi. He could feel his stomach dropping.

"The room has already been booked for that day"

"_What?" _hissed Kakashi. "That can't be right. Check again." Kakashi said glancing over at Sasuke.

"I'm sorry. But it's already been booked." She said regretably. Kakashi sighed as he saw Sasuke come over.

"How's it going Kakashi?" Sasuke asked. His eyes were glittering with excitement. Kakashi didn't have the heart to break the news to him. But he knew he would have to.

Again Kakashi sighed "Sasuke...the room...it's already booked for that day."

Sasuke's eyes dimmed "Oh" That one sound killed Kakashi. Sasuke had finally found a place for their wedding and now he couldn't have it.

"Could you at least tell us who rented the room?" asked Kakashi.

"I'm sorry. I can't give away other customer's information" Kakashi really and truly wanted to be pissed at Yumi, but she truly did look sorry.

"It's ok Kashi" Sasuke said pulling Kakashi to the door.

"I'm truly sorry! I'll call if they happen to unbook the room. Have a nice day" Yumi yelled behind them. Sasuke put on a fake smile and waved back.

Once outside, the smile fail.

"Sasuke.."

"Don't. It's...It's going to be okay. We can alway's find somewhere else to have the wedding." Sasuke said without any conviction. Kakashi stayed silent. "Let's go see Mom. She did want to see us today"

They walked to the Uchiha mansion. Sasuke had let go of any emotions on his face while Kakashi was trying to weigh his options on breaking into the Taki database and changing the dates _or _breaking into the Taki database and bribing the renter of the room.

He loved Sasuke just_ that much._

"Hiiii~ My lil Sasu-chan" screamed Mikoto while hugging Sasuke. Normally, Sasuke would react, but today he just let it go.

"Hey Mom" Sasuke said monotonely. Mikoto caught that bad mood.

"Sweetie what's wrong" then her eyes flashed to Kakashi "What did you do?" questioned a slowly angering mother neko. Kakashi put his hands up in surrender.

"He didn't do anything Mom. Leave him alone" Sasuke said carelessly. Mikoto's eyes didn't waver until she turned to Sasuke.

"Then what's wrong?" she questioned once again.

"Nothing. What did you want to talk about." Mikoto was slient for a second. Then she answered "I'll tell you in a minute. Go into the living room. The others are waiting."(Just imagine all the Naruto couples I paired here are there)

Sasuke nodded and headed to the room without looking back. Mikoto pulled Kakashi back by the collar and slammed him into the opposite wall.

"Listen here and Listen well you dog. I'm letting Sasuke marry you out of the kindness of the place where my heart is suppose to be. But when you hurt my baby all that goes flying out the window. Now tell me what's wrong with my son or you will **_never_** reproduce." threaten Mikoto.

Kakashi was quick to answer "Sasuke found a room for the wedding, but someone had already booked it for the 25th"

Mikoto's eyes widen "_What! _My baby should have whatever room he wants. He an **_Uchiha DAMNIT!"_** screeched Mikoto. Kakashi put his finger to his lips.

"You have to be quiet. Sasuke would kill me if he knew I told you." Mikoto instantly calmed down.

"Alright. Where is it?"

"It at the Taki hotel. He wanted the Umi room" Kakashi informed. Mikoto nodded.

"Got it. This is why I told him to plan ahead of time" Mikoto mumbled heading to the living room. Kakashi went to take a seat next to Sasuke only to realize there was no more space. He picked Sasuke up slightly and took his place allowing him to sit on his lap. Sasuke made no comment to the change. He simply slide closer to his older lover.

Mikoto clapped her hands "I bet you're all wondering why you're here"

"No shit" said an irrated Suigetsu. Juugo rubbed his back in order to soothe his anger.

Mikoto ignored Suigetsu. "Well, I'm here to tell you that _all of you _are basically newlyweds. And because none of you have had pre-marriagial counseling. I am signing you all up for post- marriagial counseling" expalined Mikoto.

"Bye" JuuSui

"Later" Itakyuu

"See ya" NaruSai

"Ja ne" Kakasasu

"Sayanora" MadaPein

"**_SIT!" _**commanded Mikoto. Everyone immediately went to back to their seats. "You all are going whether you like it or not. This is good for all of you. Neji, Gaara, Asuma and Shikamaru are coming as well. Kakashi you may invite your little friends."

Kakashi nodded.

"The point of this is for all of you to vent out anything about your partner you don't like or talk about something you've been avoiding"

"Tch, like I need counseling to tell Kakashi that I hate it when he jumps me in the middle of the mall" scoffed Sasuke.

"Well, I need counseling to tell you that your tomatoe obsession is kinda of creepy." Sasuke glared at him.

"See! It's just once and you'll like it. So what do you say?" She said it as question, but it sounded like "you're going get over it"

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

"Good now let's have some dinner! I'm sure you're all hungry" Kyuubi, Suigetsu, and Sai raced to the dining room.

"You really think me liking tomatoes is creepy" asked Sasuke. Kakashi kissed his forehead.

"No. Elsewise I wouldn't have planted that tomatoe garden for you" Sasuke smiled at that. "Let's go eat"

Later that night, Sasuke and Kakashi decided to stay at the mansion instead of walking home.

"It's better this way since me and the guys are going to pick out my d-d-dress" Sasuke blushed. Kakashi kissed his cheek.

"You're going to look stunning. As your personal photographer I should know." Sasuke giggled diving to kiss Kakashi's lips.

_**BRIIIIING! BRIIIIING!**_

Sasuke's phone echoed throughout the room. Sasuke went to answer much to Kakashi's displeasure.

"Hello" Kakashi only have listened to the conversation. He heard a suprised "oh" and an okay followed by a goodbye.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"It was the Taki Hotel! They said the room was unbooked by the previous renter." Sasuke nearly squealed. "So now we can have the wedding there" he finished once he glomped Kakashi.

Kakashi blinked "Really?" he asked not completely believing it.

"Yea!" Sasuke answered.

"...Well as long as you're happy" Kakashi said sliding a up Sasuke's shirt.

"You know they're watching" whispered Sasuke.

"Well lets give them a show." with that Kakashi pushed Sasuke down on the bed and silenced him with his lips.

xxxxxxxxxxxMadaPein, Itakyuu, NaruSai, & JuuSuixxxxxxxxxxxx

"Awww~ Look Madara" cooed Pein. Madara groaned. He so didn't want to watch his uke nephew get devoured. It was funny with Itachi, but Sasuke. Cute lil Sasuke who always use to call him "Madada"

"Whoo hoo Sasuke! Suck that dick off!" cried Suigetsu with a large tub of yogurt in front of him.

Naruto watched in morbid fascination. "I didn't know Sasuke could do that"

There was in audible 'pop' and then a keen moan.

Itachi groaned. "Why are we watching this?"

"Because we want to know what Kakashi's like in be-Ohhh! Itachi why don't you ever do that to me!" Kyuubi said referring to Sasuke being 'eaten'

"Yea! Juugo when was the last time you did that for me?" pouted Suigetsu.

"My Sasuke is loud!" said Sai referring to the ever escalating cries of "Kashi" "And look at Kakashi go! Naruto I want to do that" said a very pregnant Sai. Naruto nodded knowing there was no use arguing with a pregnant Sai.

"**_HOW DARE YOU! Booking the room MY BABY WANTED FOR HIS WEDDING?" _**screeched Mikoto as she held her chainsaw high above her head.

"I-I-I _WHO ARE YOU?"_

**_"Who am I? WHO AM I? I'm your worse nightmare" _**Mikoto chuckled evilly

"_Ahhhhhhhh"_

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><p><strong>Hmmm I'm actually Okay with this chapter.<strong>

**For those who are reading 'Sasuke I siiiick!' Chapter 2's Plan B was a _phony! _I felt like it was too soon to reveal my real plan and that chapter was just a filler. But I hoped you enjoyed the lemon! I know Kakashi and Sasuke did.**

**My real plan shall be revealed in the next chapter.**

**Review Please! They encourage me.**

**Ja ne**


	5. The wedding dress a secret

**yaoilover14706 (I will always update for you ;))**

**Thanks reaperninhiro(That's okay...I watch too much House so we're even. As too your idea I am seriously considering it. I have an idea forming so don't think I've dismissed it) **

**bmth-007(I feel so honored! You're the author of 2 of my favorite stories...and that part _HAD _to be added...Uchiha's are PERV's)!**

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><p>The wedding dress<p>

In the Uchiha clan, there is a law. An unspoken law.

_The wedding is **all **about the bride whether Uchiha born or not._

So, as you can imagine the dress meant _alot. _It took hours and hours of careful consideration. Many factors played in the decision such as: your height, weight, whether you were a girl or uke, skin tone, favorite color, most flattering features, and flaws(if any because their **_UCHIHA'S_**) you wish to hide.

Going to the bridal fitting was a _nessaray ceremony. _It was required of all immedate Uchiha family ukes and women to attend the fitting. Which was why Sasuke's Aunt Uruchi and Kushina(self-proclaimed mother-in-law really aunt-in-law) had come. It was a welcomed reunion.

"Too frilly"

"Too short"

"Too skimpy"

"Too white"

"Too dark"

"Too traditional"

"Too modern"

"Too...too...well _What _the hell is that?"

Everyone looked in disgust at the red thing with a huge red bow in front and a green bow on Sasuke's head. Sasuke stood their awkwardly holding the ends of the giant bow

"It looks like a fuckin tomatoe!" commented Kyuubi.

"Kyuubi! Language!" scolded Kushina. She then turned to the designer "It looks like a **_goddamn tomatoe" _**she hissed.

"I-I-I'm sor-" she attempted to stutter. Fear choking her every word.

"I-I-I Nothing! You expect my son to walk down the asile looking like a generic fruit from the grocery story. For **_god sakes he's not even organic" _**ranted Mikoto. "**_FIX IT NOW!" _**

Said frighten designer turned to Sasuke in order to change him only to find him missing. A few seconds later a casually dressed Sasuke came out looking tired and disheveled.

"Sasuke what are you doing sweetie? Go back in so we can get you changed into something fantastic." Cooed Mikoto.

Sasuke glared darkly at his mother "No" and with that simple response grabbed his jacket and marched off. He was pissed beyond belief. After having a most pleasureable night with Kakashi, Sasuke was snatched at three in the morning to try on dresses. What person wakes up at 3 in the fucking morning to try on wedding dresses? He was tired and wanted to go home...and by home he meant Kakashi's house.

"Sasuke! Wait up!" yelled an extremely pregnant Suigetsu. He waddled over to Sasuke as fast as he could with his arm supporting his back. Sasuke stopped for his best friend. Despite his foul mood, he knew better than to be angry at his shark hybrid friend. It wasn't his fault. After catching his breath, Suigetsu walked with Sasuke to his car.

"Damn! Being pregnant is fucking painful." complained Suigetsu.

"That what's you get for asking for things on a whim" retorted Sasuke easing into traffic.

"Yea...well these brats better be goddamn grateful" humphed the shark. Sasuke smiled a little. Their was no real way to describe Suigetsu. Not even spontaniously crazy fit the bill. He was just him.

"I called Neji so you might want to drive to our usual cafe" informed Suigetsu.

"Why?" questioned Sasuke. He was already headed that way.

"Because you need a dress and I need a break from your damn family." Sasuke chuckled at that. "So, what's that crap about needing a witness? And to what? murder?"

"Kakashi and I are going to have our official documents signed in private" Sasuke knew that somehow his wedding was going to be not only the biggest news to the freaking Uchiha clan, but also to the Phantomhive empire. World War III was heating up. He could almost feel his grandmother's critical eye on him. Itachi was lucky that the woman needed sugrey elsewise she would have crushed his wedding.

"I would ask, but this is _your _family"

"Yea, but I wanted it to be...unique" commented Sasuke cryptically. He pulled over to the cafe spotting Neji on the curb.

"Hee~y dude" cried Suigetsu. Sasuke nodded his greeting.

"Hey, Sasuke you know your engagement rocking the Hyuuga family into a tissy. Uncle even got over my drunken marriage to Gaara" commented the lavender eyed hawk. Sasuke groaned his response. It too alot to distract Hiashi from personal family matter...personal drunken family matters.

"Kill me now"

"But then your little Kashi-kun would be taken by some young thing" teased Suigetsu. Neji started directing Sasuke toward's his cousin's designer company. Wedding dresses were her speciality.

"I want Ice Cream. Sasuke stop to get some freakin' ice cream. It's hot" Only the pregnant Shark could say this in the begining of December.

"Yea, Yea yea. Why are we headed to your cousin's anyway?"

"She's got a dress she thinks you'll love."

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><p>There were 2 things Kakashi didn't like. Losing his precious Icha Icha paradise and not waking up to a cute sleeping Sasuke. It was probably the most terrifying moment in his life. I mean he could have been kidnapped in the middle of the night without him knowing and my god Mikoto would kill him if the heartache didn't kill him first. But aftering having Itachi inform him that he had to pick up a tux for his wedding in 3 weeks, he realized that Mikoto probably kidnapped him.<p>

The worry was still there.

Getting the tux's was probably the easiest thing to do. A little adjusting here and there and Wa La! they were done. It was about 4 in the afternoon when he got home to 2 disgruntled mothers and an aunt neko. Silently, Kakashi wondered if it would make a difference if he changed the locks on his apartment...again.

"Mikoto, Kushina, Uruchi" greeted Kakashi. He didn't even think to kick them out. He simply went to make a cup of tea and left them to talk on _his _couch in _his _living room in _his _apartment.

"Kakash,i where's Sasuke?" Kakashi froze at the question.

"He was with you, wasn't he?" Kakashi asked cautiously.

"Yes, but he stormed out and we haven't seen him since."

Kushina huffed "I don't see why he did that? We were trying to help him"

"Yes, and every Uchiha bride has gone through this. Why is he being so diffcult?"

"Sasuke's always been diffcult. It's like one minute I know him and the next he's a complete stranger." said a sadden mother neko.

"Sasuke's not trying to be diffcult. He's just different." Kakashi unconciously said while setting down their tea. All three women looked at him inqusively.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "What I mean is Sasuke does things his own way. You can't force him to do what he doesn't want to. In fact, he's quite like yourself Mikoto. He refuses to be beaten down and hushed" explained Kakashi.

Kushina, Mikoto, and Uruchi looked at Kakashi with wide eyes. Before any of them could say anything the door slammed open. Sasuke, Suigetsu, Hinata and Neji came hurtling into the room...well Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Hinata did. Neji was being dragged around like a rag dog.

"Hey babe" greeted Sasuke with a kiss" bye babe" and Sasuke zoomed into their room with a slam to the door. Their was loud giggling, laughing, and hushed talking. The door cracked open enough for Sasuke's head to pop through.

"Kakashi if you come upstairs, I'm going to kiii~ll you" Sasuke said in a sugary sweet voice before slamming the door shut. A muffled "Neji get these clothes off me" was heard.

Kakashi's eye twitched. It took tons and tons of self-restraint not to go ripping "Neji's" hands off _**his **_Sasuke. Only _**he**_ was alound to _rip _the clothes off Sasuke's back. Two seconds later, Gaara came storming in and marched to his bedroom. Another muffled giggle was heard and then what sounded like "Damn Uchiha"

The 4 occupants of the living room blinked. _What the **fuck **was going on?_

The 3 mothers went upstairs to see what all the fuss was about. They too slammed the door close...

...

...

...

"_KKKKKKyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa" _the deafening squeal was followed by giggling and laughter. Kakashi not being able to take the squealing and laughing grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Absentmindedly, he reminded hisself that he'd need to put a new incryption key into his security system as Kyuubi also came rushing by.

Kakashi spotted Itachi and Fugaku standing by their car. He walked over to them.

"They'll be awhile." stated Kakashi with a bored look. Both sighed.

"Want to go to a bar?" Both men nodded.

_Screeeeeech_

The 3 men wouldn't be seen until their wives (or soon to be wife) came in to pull the trio away from the Karoke bar

_Liiiiiife is like a friggen Highway and weeeee waa~nna ride it all niii~ght looooong._

_Iffff~ you gonna my waaa~y, them I'm wanna drive ittt allll night looong_

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><p><strong><em>Reviews Please...or rather wish me a belated Happy Birthday! It was yesterday!<em>**

**_Read my first and new Kuroshitsuji story And Then I Came To Play_**

**_Ja ne_**


	6. No What? Food and Hysteria

**yaoilover14706 (I will always update for you ;) As for te dress...ah...the dress makes me feel slightly accomplished)**

**Thanks reaperninhiro(Don't say that! The American Gov will blame me for marriage rates! hahahah)**

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><p>No What? and Food<p>

Sasuke was feeling pretty good about his wedding. So far, his dress and location selection had gone better than expected. On top of that he and Kakashi had decided where their location for the offical document signing would be(insert the brilliant reaperinhiro). The location was a bit eccentric, but was meant to be a secret so it was ok.

There were several things that has to be done such as seating, food, and decor. There were also other things stressing the young neko out, but he was doing his best to ignore it. Currently Sasuke was with Kakashi picking out his tux...and delivering the most devistating news Kakashi had ever heard.

"NO SEX!" exclaimed the silver haired hybrid. Kakashi hoped he heard Sasuke wrong. Maybe he said _more _sex. Yea! The idea of no mor sex with Sauske earth shattering! How would he live? His little buddy would be sure to fall off. How would he make little Sasuke and Kakashi babies? He even had names like Sakashi or Kasuke and if Sasuke didn't **like** that then Kakashi Jr. and Kashi-rella was bound to get a yes out of him

"Yes, I researched it was a good idea." Sasuke said with a clam voice. He knew Kakashi would freak over this. The man was sex addict. That was why he decided by putting him on a withdrawl the high later would be twice as better. Sasuke himself didn't like the idea of having no sex, but it was for the sake of their wedding. Their wedding was going to be _perfect _or someone was going to die!

"I think the green tie looks better. What do you think Kakashi?" asked Sasuke as he faced the incrediably handsome man.

"You could pick one with pink elephants if you want! Just give me back my sex!" cried the dramatic wolf. Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed Kakashi into the dressing room before he caused a scene. Pulling the curtain closed, Sasuke turned to Kakashi with an amused look on his face.

"Baby, this is good for us and it's only for a little while...it could even be a like a game. We could see who crack first" Sasuke said trying to soothe Kakashi not that he really had to since he had no intention of letting Kakashi touch him.

"No sex"

"You thinking to hard about this."

"_**No **_Sex"

"Kaka-"

"**_NO SEX!" _**Kakashi's reaction had Sasuke freaking out slighly(although a large part of him was very annoyed) so he did the only thing he could think of.

_**SMACK**_

A resounding smack was heard within the 4 by 4 room. Sasuke wore a feirce glare on his face while Kakashi looked slightly suprised.

"You promised me that I could the wedding of my dreams right?" Kakashi was still shock, but moved his head up and down. "Then do you know what I want for my wedding?" asked the menacing bride-to-be. Kakashi moved his head side to side in a no motion.

"I want to look goddamn gorgeous in my drop dead fucking dress while you drool over my fucking ass wanting to fuck into the nearest wall! And you won't be like that if you know you've had sex with me that goddamn day before!"

Kakashi shrunk back. He was quite intiminated by this side of Sasuke. His eyes like they were flashing red a couple of times through his rant. Kakashi did not want to give up sex with Sasuke, but this was his wedding and he was allowed to have whatver he wanted or so he was told anyway.

"Alright babe Alright...just calm down.."

"How the hell am I suppose to calm down when you won't do as I tell you"

"I am Sasuke! I p-p-pr-r-romise...no more sex until the wedding" Kakashi could feel his heart drop at the words uttered.

"**After the wedding**" Kakashi's sweat drop at the dark tone used.

"A-After the wedding" agreed Kakashi.

"Great! I think the green tie looks nice. Let's buy it" Sasuke chirped in a suddenly good mood. Kakashi stood there for a few seconds completely floored.

"_**Kakashi!**_" called Sasuke.

"C-c-coming"

There was no way this was going to end well, but the part of him that would do anything for Sasuke would not listen.

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><p>"I <strong>want<strong> fish"

Strange how those 3 words were causing Kakashi hell.

"S-Sir you you ordered steak" stuttered the nervous five star chief.

"For my fiancee! Which I don't want either because it looks like _**shit. **_Are you insiting that I feed him dog food!" Both the chief and I glanced at one another. In technical terms I was a dog...a much larger and wilder version of a dog. So dog food wouldn't bother me.

Lucky, the chief and I were smart enough not to mention _those _facts.

"No sir" murmured the chief.

"Damn right! I want fish and you had better do a better job at cooking my fiancee a steak than this!" Sasuke then whirled to me "Kakashi do you want a sir lion steak"

"Umm.." I glanced at the chief apologetically. I was as helpless as he was. Lucky he understood "Sure babe"

"He wants sir lion, got it?" the chief nodded "Good. Not what about the cake I ordered?"

"It is not done, yet. But we can allow you to sample it. If you like?" replied the nervous chief. I felt so bad for him.

"Of course" and with that Sasuke went to sit in a chair toppling over the dubbed shit steak on the floor. He did not turn around until he was comfortably situated on the seat. He glanced at us expectantly. We hurried to do what he wanted not wanting to upset him anymore.

"Babe are you ok?" I tentativly asked. Sasuke had been like this for a while now. Kakashi was pretty sure it was because the wedding day was drawing nearer and the young neko still had several things to do.

"Of course I am. Why?" questioned Sasuke.

"You just seem a little...tense thats all" Kakashi was sure to word what he said carefully.

"Hmm just a little nervous that's all. Nothing to worry about." Sasuke said dismissively.

"That is something to worry about. What's wrong? Aren't you excited to get married." I watched Sasuke expression. At first Sasuke expression soften, but then I noted the paling of his face and terror flashing through his eyes.

Before I could ask what was wrong the chief came in with the cupcake sample. He nervously placed the plate on the table. Sasuke picked up the fork and took a small piece of the cupcake into his mouth. We both waited for the soon to come explosion.

...

...

...

"Hmm not bad. Is that strawberry you added?" questioned Sasuke. The chief and I shared another glance wondering whether this was a trick. I shrugged not sure what to make of it.

"Y-Yes,...it is meant to balance out the sour lemon" explained the nervous chief.

"Very nice. Keep up the good work." Then Sasuke abruptly left the restuarnt without another word. I was frozen for a few seconds before the thundering sound of a storm got me moving. I ran as fast I could following the scent of Sasuke. Nothing was more important then that one smell right now.

I glimpsed Sasuke turning a corner and decided to take a short cut. The moment I did it started too pour hard like tiny pebbles pelting me. I didn't care Sasuke was in pain and I had no clue why. I came to the opening. In front of me Sasuke was running without looking so imagine his suprise when he ran straight into me.

He froze for a second before fighting back "Let me go! Let me goddamnit! I will fuck you up!"

"Sasuke, Sasuke it me! Kakashi!" I shook him slightly before he calmed down. He stared at me for a few seconds before all the weight on his legs gave way.

"Sasuke! Sasuke! What wrong? Sasuke!" I was panicking slightly. My fiesty neko was caving in om himself. I heard sobbing and stopped yelling for second to be sure.

"Don't leave...Don't leave me...please." I herad Sasuke whisper patheically.

"Why would I leave? Sasuke what's wrong?"

"Don't go...please!" Sasuke was weigtless in my arms. I decided to just carry him to my car. The rain was freezing and we were soaked to the bone. Once at the car I placed Sasuke in the passengers seat, but Sasuke wouldn't let me go. I decided to seat him so he was sitting on my lap. I had no clue what had him so hysterical. Sasuke's sobs calmed as th rain got worse.

"Don't go...please...I..love you" I didn't have time to respond before he was out cold.

I had no idea what had Sasuke so upset, but I was determined to find out!

"I'm not going anywhere...I'm yours" the whisper was left unheard.

I eased my self into the drivers seat, turned on the heat and headed home. Absentmindly, I wondered if Asuma would mind partnering with me again.

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><p><strong>Yes I know this took forever to get out and I promised this over a week ago, but damn college is getting to me! I'll (hopefully) update much sooner.<strong>

**As for those wondering why Sasuke got suddenly hysterical ther is a reason for it! This does has smoewhat of a plot so stay tuned. Those who are awesome at chemistry and think they can help with some problem PLEASE review. I'm likely to randomly post chem problems since I do need help with them! I mean seriously why do civil engineers take chem 1 AND 2 again!**

**Anyway, Please review it always encourages me to update as often as possible!**


	7. And the counseling begins

**yaoilover14706 (Let confirm your rightnness...or WRONGNESS hahaha jking you're probably right)**

**Thanks reaperninhiro(thank you! Of course Sasuke wouldn't be Sasuke if he didn't go crazy and even if he didn't this is BRIDEZILLA! :])**

**xXxXLupicideXxXx(I'll write! I'll write! Please don't hunt me down! I blame this all on Mi-chan! [aka Black Magician Mirei my bestfriend])**

**Sasuke1221(Awww You're so sweet of course I'll write more! Thank you [your review is what got me off me ass but shhh! don't tell anyone *looks around frantically*)**

**Hikari43837(I did better I made it long! Yes finally one more chapter before the new year! Enjoy)**

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><p>It was time!<p>

Time for the event that brought a great and prominent family together!

The Uchiha Family Christmas Get Together!

Yes!

An event brought both Fugaku's family and Mikoto's family together.

As you can surely imagine, there were several people on this list. Immediate family members, distant family members, and with the addition of the Uzamaki family, in-laws. All of them came to the Uchiha Family Christmas in order to catch up, gloat, and most of all entertainment. The Uchiha Christmas was not just known for having extremely rich and influental people in one house. They were known for the chaos it brought to the e-state and city. The police (which were ran by the Uchiha family), firefighters, FBI, S.W.A.T, coast guard,and Marines dreaded the week these families got together.

Why?

The Devil Children!

Yes the Devil Children. For some reason or another these large families seemed to spawn devilish children lying in wait for the Christmas Holiday to do something explosive and stupid. You think their exagerrating?

Well you deal with the fire of '05

The flood of '06

The explosive one oh seven

The heist and hostage of '08

The shark infestation of '09

The city grid power outage of '10

And god only knows what would happen this year. Hell! No one could even guess how the last year happen! I mean between the rolling black out and out boxes randomly combusting the city was at a lost.

Most wanted it pin all on Sasuke. Sasuke was the only possible suspect because he was the youngest in the family. Everyone _**knew** _the shark infestation was Itachi and Kisame. But the power outage just didn't seem like something Itachi would do. I mean the man was dating Kyuubi at the time and if there was anything anyone was glad for, it was when Uchiha's finally found a mate. Their violent and defiant natures seems to dissapate when that happened.

But **_Sasuke._**

**_Sasuke _**

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><p>The mansion was gloomy for any and all couples in the Uchiha family.<p>

Why?

Because Mikoto had decided to have the marrage counseling during the family get-together.

They Hyugas and Phantomhives struggled immensiely too get out of it. I mean jump out the window dig a tunnel with a spoon kind of struugle.

But of course Mikoto was a brilliant woman and who knew what was going to happen before the idea evened formed in anyone's mind so their attempts were futile.

And so that was how Hatori Phantomhive (reluctantly) ended up becoming the counseler for the family. It not that Hatori didn't know how to counsel. But he felt that no amount of counseling could rectify the problems within this family. However, he'd give a poor man's try at it.

"Alright let's start with something simple. Trust..." Their was a collective groan as all the seme's in the room gave Hatori a sour look.

"...Like I was saying trust is the start of any relationship" Madara and Itachi both raised their hands "including sexual ones (their hands went down). You trust the person to show you a good time, keep secrets, and share your life with. No matter what trust is a factor in all relationships. So, I want all of you to be willing to trust your partner now. First take postion which is NOT sexual.."

Everyone including Mikoto, Fugaku, Minato, and Kushina sat either with clasped hands or leaning on the other's shoulder or sitting in laps.

"..Alright now Itachi why don't you lead for us. Trust Kyuubi and tell him something you wouldn't normally talk about with him" Itachi looked at him like he'd gone up a wall.

"Something emotional Itachi" The stare went from up a wall to down right insane "How about something you dislike about Kyuubi? Something he does or in his character that you think he can improve on."

Itachi seemed to be okay with that.

"Kyuu-chan, I don't like it with you call that ass Shuukaku. He's nothing but a low down dirty rat out to try and still you from me." Itachi's eyes flashed red.

"Uh...okay...now I want you to do the same...thing" Hatori was at a lost of words as he watched Kyuubi bash the side of Itachi's head.

"I **_HATE_** it when you don't trust me! You think every person that comes up to me is trying to steal me away. And even **IF** that was true I'm not gulliable to fall for them you asshole I **_MARRIED_ **YOU!" With that Kyuubi turned away from his mate clearly pissed.

"Uh..well that's..a start. Itachi are you okay?" Itachi let out small whine "Alright then who's next?(noone raised their hand) How about Naruto and Sai" Hatori turned his cool eyes toward the young couple. "Naruto you first."

"Uhhh...err okay..um I do-"

"It better not be anything about ramen" glared the ridiciously pregnant ferret.

"Bu-"

"No"

"Fine! I don't like how you treat me like a complete idiot a lot of the time...I mean I know I have moments..but this kinda hurts my pride, ya know"

"Naruto you are an idiot-"

"HEY"

"But you're my idiot and it's part of the reason I love you, but if it really bothers you that much...I maybe a little more linent about it" Naruto smiled a massive shit eating smile before hugging his adorble "wife"

"...Sai it's your turn" sighed the already tired neko

"I don't like when you get touchy-feely with other people" Naruto gulped for the evil aura immenting from Sai "I had go through hell to have you and I'm not going to give you up **_so stop it!_**" ordered the enraged ferret.

"Okay" Naruto's sweatdropped.

"Good" smiled Sai.

"..." Hatori wanted to say that this wasn't about ordering your mate around but he would let it go. "Juugo...Suigetsu let's have a go"

"Eww! I don't want to go anywhere with you" joked Suigetsu.

Hatori sighed. "Juugo you first."

"...I don't really have anything I particularly dislike"

"Juugo there must be something about the Suigetsu behavior or enviroment you don't like.

"...I'd rather he not leave the bathroom floor soaking wet...I slipped and almost hit my head last time."

"...okaaay Suigetsu..?"

"Well, I wouldn't have to if the only pleasure I get nowadays is either your hand or mind. I mean for fucks sake! I don't like have to do this myself I'm MARRIED! It's _YOUR_ job to satisfy me." humphed the prego shark.

"Suigetsu you're pregnant"

"So?"

"We can't do that when you're pregnant"

Hatori saw the quickly engraging face and so decided to step in.

"It's true such straneous exercise could prove to be fatal to the baby" explained Hatori in a profeesional voice.

"Humph fine!" The white shark proceed to place hisself in a more comfortable position.

"...Ah"

"Oh me next me next!" Mikoto squealed.

"...Uh huh..." Hatori was hoping to skip them sense just about everything was wrong with his dear baby cousin.

"Sweetie is there anything about me you dislike." Everyones sweatdropped.

_'You're insane, crazy,demonic,destructive,overbearing,horredious,terrifying,bipolar,schizophrenic...'_

"Of course not darling! You have very cute quirks" Everyone stared in awe as Fugaku(**_lied_**) finished his statement with a flourish.

'Does he not realize his wife is the devil in disguise!'

"Awww baby you're so sweet! Oh, but I would love it if you get ride of this stubble on your chin. It's not very becoming"

"Hahaha dearest, I was thinking of growing a beard."

"haha Babe **DON'T**" everyone's sweatdropped. Fugaku wasn't going to test his luck but...

"I think it makes me look distingushed"

"Mmm I think it makes you look unnecessarily hairy" Fugaku sighed "Besides you look so young and handsome without one."

_'Well..._'

"Alright, it'll be gone tomorrow" sighed the aging man.

"Yay!" cried the evil wit- I mean Mikoto. She kissed Fugaku.

"...Kakashi...Sasuke please end this for me"

"WHAT ABOUT US?" screamed Madara.

"What about you?" replied Hatori.

"Grr..." growled Madara.

"Mada-kun let it go. There is no reason to get upset" soothed Pein.

"The hell it is! He is skipping us!" cried Madara.

"Babe you didn't even want to do this" replied Pein.

"...So?" Pein immediately pulled Madara by his collar to sit him down.

"Fine. I hate when you make unnecessaray scenes. It's make you look stupid and you're embarassing me."

"So now I'm embarassing?"

"Yes as much so as the day I met you" Pein replied deadpan.

"Well you fell for me! So what does that say about _YOU_?"

"It says embarassing or not I still love you Now sit _the fuck down_ **_or I beat you within an inch of your life"_**

"...Okay" Madara placed his head on Pein laps and behaved himself.

"...uh...um yea I've had enough for today" Hatori got out of his chair and headed for the kitchen.

"Tori you ass! What about my precious diamond, Sasu-chan" cried Mikoto.

"Moooom" whined the little neko.

"Hey! What about your other son" added Itachi.

"Dear baby cousin, I'm tired and want to sleep with my mate. It's two in the morning get some sleep." _And help!_

"Bu-"

"Goodnight!" with that the older male fled the room.

"Fine! We can just do it without you! Sasuke! Kakashi!" Mikoto whirled to where Sasuke and Kakashi were seated only to discover they were no longer there.

xxxxxxxxxx/xxxxxx/xxxxxx/x/

"Explain to me why you wanted to this during the most hellish time of the year" growled Sasuke. He was currently laying in bed with Kakashi ready for much needed sleep.

"It wasn't so bad" replied the silver-haired wolf. The get-together wasn't EXACTLY as he saw on TV. But there did seem to be that loving family feeling behind all the hostility and yelling.

"Yeah right! I want to just get this whole thing over with so I can have two weeks away from my family"

"Maa it might be worth it all if you give it a chance"

"Tch! With the knowledge that my grandmother will be here I know better than to give this shit a chance." Kakashi sighed. It was going to be a long day he was sure of it.


	8. Nekobaa

**Soooooo! How many of you people are seriously pissed at me? [Glare] ...O-Ol Okay alot of you...*runs far far away***

* * *

><p>In an almost sad attempt at prolonging the inevitable, Sasuke decided to leave the mansion with his ever silly lover, Kakashi, under the pretense of Christmas shopping.<p>

...

...

...well a pretense for Sasuke at least. Kakashi had yet to buy everyone a gift.

"I can't believe you haven't gotten this done yet." fumed Sasuke. The man was just so freaking lazy!

"Maa~ but Sasuke I'm not used to buying a lot of presents. I normally just give my friends their presents on New Years"

"Why" hissed the angered neko.

"Because I spend Christmas alone. While everyone else is on vacation." explained the older wolf as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

Sasuke anger toward the older man soften. "...Well get used to it! You're technically part of the Uchiha family and we're a big family that _expect _presents on Christmas, got it?"

"Hmm." Kakashi humed happily. And with that the next 2 hours were filled with indecision, yelling, and Sasuke glaring at every person that stared lustfully at his maskless lover. By the time lunch hit, Kakashi had two arms of bags while Sasuke walked next to him pouting.

"You could help carry some of these bags, ya know."

"..."

"Sasuke.."

"..."

"I wasn't flirting with him Sasuke"

"..."

"He asked me how it looked on him"

"..."

"I wasn't going to say he looked fat Sasuke he was _pregnant!_" Sasuke flinched.

"..."

Kakashi sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere with Sasuke right now and they'd have to go through the whole marriage counseling(or in their case pre) thing as soon as they got back. Today was not looking good.

"Are you ready for tonight?" Sasuke finally spoke.

But tonight was always a better...night?...time?...You know what I mean!

Kakashi noticed the tinge of pink on his lovely raven's cheeks and to resisted the urge to glomp him.

"Of course! This make us..._official "_purred the silver-haired man. Sasuke blushed became darker and Kakashi silently cheered.

"...Yea...well...mphgg" Kakashi silenced the blushing neko with his own lips. Really how was he suppose to resist when he looked to delectable. Silently Kakashi wondered if Sasuke's blush could get andy darker.

Sasuke only put up a momentary struggle before he gave in. He liked kissing Kakashi it was...nice? Sasuke didn't quite have the right word for the way Kakashi kissed. When Kakashi's lips touched his, it felt nothing short of an electric shock running through him. His tongue seeking Sasuke just made Sasuke let loose the most embarssing sounds ever! And yet, it still managed to drift into a completely other world. Sasuke couldn't help think how...

Cliche.

Crass.

Stupid.

Lovesick.

and Disgusting.

...that all sounded to him. He ripped his lips from Kakashi his blush darker and more visible than ever and stomped away completely embarrassed. Kakashi blinked not knowing what was pissing his lovely kitten off before shrugging and following after him. Kakashi wondered if they were really gonna get back to mansion for marriage counseling.

* * *

><p>*Several hours later*<p>

The Uchiha-Namikaze home was going through something akin to hell. Ironic since they always threaten to send other people to that very place. Nonetheless, noone felt more irritation than Mikoto Uchiha. Yes, the force, fury, and very drive that made the Uchiha fearsome was under extreme forms of stress. Not only was her mother-in-law here in the mansion, but she also found out that her run away son (Sasuke) would more than likely not be here (for reasons unknown to her).

Now if there was one thing Mikoto _**insured** _It was that when Nekobaa-chan came to visit Sasuke was **_sure_ **to be the first thing the old woman would see. If there was anything Mikoto knew about that woman was that she loved five things.

1) Money because that woman thought that money made the world go round.

2) Cats because they are the smartest creatures to ever live

3) Smokes because they calm her nerves

4) Alcohol (particularly vodka) because...well Mikoto thought it was because she was secretly an alcholic

5) Last but not least Sasuke because...well how could you not love Mikoto's darling little diamond! *cue squeal*

Of course Nekobaa-chan also loved Itachi, but she just "liked Sasuke more." This effected Itachi in no way since he didn't want to spend anytime with "the old hag" Sasuke on other hand adored spending time with his dear dear grand mother...

That Mikoto couldn't stand.

The woman maybe family, but my god did she have a way to complain about _everything! _Nothing satisfied her.

Her food was too salty.

Her sheets were to stiff.

Your hair looks like a bees nest

Itachi is a smartass.

"Mikoto that dress makes your hips look fat" **Twitch**

Mikoto cracked a smile on her face and swiftly turned to face her dear mother-in-law "It's nice to see you as well Nekobaa-chan"**  
><strong>

The older woman grunted "Hn, if only I could say the same thing back" Mikoto gritted her teeth and grinned wider in an attempt to keep face in front of the infernal woman. Fugaku, seeing his seething wife, decided to cut in.

"Mother please. She is my wife." He said calmly as he bent to kiss the rugged cheek.

"Yes and I still don't understand why. You were such a vibrant young man. Many suitors. Where on earth did I go wrong?" replied Nekobaa. Mikoto wondered if she _accidently_ trip the old woman, would she fall and go to hell.

"Mother we'ver been through this before, during, and after my marriage to Mikoto. I love her." Mikoto's smile soften.

"What about that other woman? The nice lovely girl you had the huge crush on...hannah" Mikoto's smile dropped. "You know I adored her. She was so pretty. Exotic really"_**  
><strong>_

"You had a crush on her dear?" Fugaku felt his life expectancy drop...again.

"Oh just a minor one dear. Hardly significant"

"Nonsense! You use declare undying love for her. Always on about her snowy hair and lovely cocoa skin. How you couldn't get out of the friend zone"

"Undying love" hissed the jealous wife. Fugaku saw a flash of red in his wife eyes and knew it was time to back track.

"Dear it was nothing! I married you!" pointed out Fugaku.

"Oh thats right! She died in that rock climbing accident. What a shame? I'm so sure you would have married her instead of...hmm what's you name again dear" Fugaku ran and never looked back. Of course he didn't have after he heard.

"**SAAAAAASUUUKKEEEEEEEEEE"**

* * *

><p>"Hmmm did you hear something, kashi?" asked Sasuke.<p>

"No why?" Sasuke shrugged. He could have sworn he heard his mother's voice. Sasuke snapped out his thoughts when heard the man in front of him clear his throat.

"So if you guys will sign here and initials here, you'll be legal." Neither Kakashi or Sasuke hesitated to sign the sheet of paper. "Alrightie then! Congratulations Mr and Mr(s?) Hatake" Sasuke smiled at his new last name.

Hatake Sasuke.

Yes Sasuke really liked the ring to that. The couple were in the morgue with their close friends(as witnesses) congratulating them.

"Did you have to have a wedding in the morgue Sasuke?" demanded Neji. He would have never thought to have a wedding here.

"Of course! It's memorable, unique-"

"and no one would ever think to look for us here" finished Kakashi. Sasuke glared.

"Hn" replied Neji.

Sasuke sighed. He was happy to be the official spouse of Kakashi, but throughout the whole thing Sasuke couldn't help having sexual thoughts. He wanted to have sex with Kakashi so _bad. _ He felt like he was going through withdrawals. Sasuke had even been reduced to hand jobs...many times. He felt like an addict. A sex addict. Sasuke cursed himself for forbidding sex in the first place. They both did it at least 3 times a day not including hand and blow jobs. It was stupid to think he could go so long without it. Stupid magazine telling how _mind blowing _sex was when you abstinate from it.

Sasuke broke from his thoughts when he felt a hand entwine with his own. He looked up and Sasuke couldn't help but smile at Kakashi's massive grin. The man just had an infectious smile.

"I'm happy" Sasuke never knew two words could make him feel so elated.

* * *

><p>"Haa...Haa...okay so finally...updated haa" Damn you guys can run!<p>

Anyway you guys can find explanation of why I haven't updated on my stories on my profile. I shall start updating more often. Ohh and take my poll. The one with the most votes gets updated the most often (probly)


	9. Chapter 9

**Soooooo! How many of you people are seriously pissed at me? [Glare] ...O-Ol Okay alot of you...*runs far far away***

* * *

><p>"I wish my favorite lil' grandson was here!" an elderly voice said wistfully "You lot <strong><em>suck <em>**at poker"

In the family room of the Uchiha mansion, all the inhabitants were sitting in a large circle looking hagrid and disbelieving. The old hag striped them of hundreds which was accumulating into thousands and no one was quite sure how she had done it either! The search for Sasuke was on! Sasuke was the only one capable of making the old women's shriveled grey heart feel a tinge of something not bitter. It had taken two hours of Mikoto frantically crying and threatening (everyone) for her son to come.

"**Sasuke Tsuki Uchiha you get your ASS over here and deal with the _MONSTROSITY I'M FORCED TO CALL FAMILY!"_**was the main thing that got Sasuke to leave his romantic evening with Kakashi.

"Now grandma I'm flattered" Everyone's eyes turned to the young raven haired neko holding his fiancee's arm. Sasuke was like a bright beacon light in the dark pits of hell.

"Ah! My precious lil' neko! Give grandma some love" demanded nekobaa as she smoke her pipe. She opened her arms in welcome. Sasuke did not hesitate to run over to the aged woman and whispered into her frayed hair "I missed you"

"Of course you do! These idiots can't give you a decent challenge!"

"Grandma! Be nice!" admonished the younger neko. Everyone watched in wonder as Sasuke scolded the older woman. Mikoto was sobbing with relief and joy.

"My Sasu-neko come play poker with an old woman" Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes, but first there is someone I want to introduce you to" Sasuke moved away from Nekobaa in order to grab Kakashi's hand a pull him closer. "Grandma this is Kakashi Hatake my fiancee" annouced the smiling neko. The room stilled It felt like the great calm before the storm. Eerie. "He-"

"No"

Sasuke paused not quite catching what his dear grandmother said "What was that grandma?"

"I said: No" she repeated with an air of finality.

"Baa-ch-"

"Do you remember me Hatake-san?" question the older woman. For the first time since he had got here Sasuke glanced over at his lover and noted that he looked nervous. Kakashi never looked nervous unless Sasuke was glaring at him.

"Nekobaa! You look wel-"

"Don't give that crap, you bastard!"

"Grandma!" scolded Sasuke.

Nekobaa didn't listen "I told you if I ever saw your face again I was going to make your life a living hell!" Sasuke saw Kakashi's sweat drop.

_'What the HELL is going on!?'_

"I see you still have that grudge" Nekobaa glared.

"Kakashi what the hell is gong on" demanded a confused Sasuke.

"I'll tell you my favorite lil' neko your mother is a failure!" Nekobaa's tone became harsh

"Excuse me!" demanded the matriarch.

"How could you let such _filth _come into the family?!" demanded the old woman

"I blew up the man's apartment, destroyed his beloved car, kicked him in his balls in hopes of stopping reproduction" Kakashi whimpered and held Sasuke. There really was no need to attack his precious gift to society. "The guy just gets back up with his shitty smile. I can't stop him!"

"You should have tried harder" insisted Nekobaa

"If the guy gets up after all that then you think _maybe _he loves your grandson. Even with the looming fact that I **_will _**make his life a living hell!" screeched the infuriated mother. Kakashi whimpered some more and buried his face in Sasuke's hair. "And I sure as **_hell _**am not missing my son's wedding because he decided to elope" Mikoto spat the word out with disgust.

"That is hardly any excuse. You have always been a weak link Mikoto." Sasuke winced at the harsh tone his grandmother was using. He had only heard her like this when she found out about Sasuke's depression.

"I'm not you! I won't miss my son's wedding because I disapprove." Mikoto's eyes were fierce.

"Who wants to watch their family sink further and further into hell because they decide to marry some harlot?" calmly asked the old woman.

"Mother!" exclaimed Fugaku who could only watch helplessly.

"Well at least I care enough to accept the fact that he is happy...Now if you'll excuse me" Mikoto fled the room without a word.

"Mother you should be ashamed" admonished Fugaku. He didn't wait for a reply as he rushed after his mate.

"I agree with father. You are a wicked bitter witch grandmother." Itachi left furious knowing that he had any relation to the old hag. Kyuubi was not far behind him waddling his way out the room. It didn't take long for the others to follow. After an eeire silence Sasuke spoke up.

"Grandmother I very much agree with father you should be ashamed of yourself...but...Kashi what did you do?" Sasuke turned his big inquisitive eyes to his lover begging for an answer.

Kakashi could not resist. He sighed before speaking up "You know how I was on the police force?" Sasuke nodded. "Well there was this case where some illegal contraband was being shipped to China. Naturally, China wanted it to stop and placed the job on us. It was believed that whoever was selling the stuff was more than likely working with the Biashe of China to network it throughout the country."

'So it became an international problem" deduced the young neko.

"Yea well me and Asuma followed a link that took us to the operations and your grandma was involved. It took us a long time and a lot of dead ends to find her. We found out from an anonymous source that the contraband was worth billions "

"Wait so...!"

"Yea, more than likely not all the Uchiha fortune is...legal" Nekobaa snorted and Sasuke turned to glare at the older woman before turning back to Kakashi.

"Yea she never got arrested or anything. Hard to pin anything on an innocent old lady, but we did close down the main network to China. It was a hefty link worth eight point three billion dollars give or take"

"...So you stopped my king pin grandma and she hates you because-"

"That route produced a hell of a lot of profit. Little input. Lotta output. Now because of him I have to create tighter security and precautions to ensure everything gets done without hitch" ranted the old woman.

"Uhhh...yea...probably not a good idea to tell a former police officer that" pointed out Kakashi.

"Hn" Kakashi rolled his eyes _'Uchihas' _He'd have to tell HQ that. Anonymously of course.

After a short pause Sasuke spoke up.

"Grandma I'm upset with you and I won't forgive you until you apologize to my mother" declared Sasuke.

"Hn. Why don't I give you a car and all is forgiven?" offered Nekobaa. Desperate not to have her lovely little kitten dislike her.

"No"

"I'll give you five million dollars"

"No"

"I'll buy you an eight acre tomato patch and give you unconditional access to it"

"..."

"Sasuke we have our own tomato garden" Kakashi said turning Sasuke toward him.

"..."

"Sasuke you'll get sick eaten all those tomatoes"

"..."

"I'll buy you an eight acre tomatoe patch. But there will be conditions"

Sasuke turned to Nekobaa "No"

ANd with that Sasuke stormed out before the older woman tempted Sasuke with other things he loved.


End file.
